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Captain Marvel (spoilers) boring


If you get giddy at the prospect of seeing an energy beam spewing Athena, then you’ll love Marvel; this is the captain (of that genre). Seemed like a three-hour movie about a sidekick, I wondered now where the other half of the wonder twins went. Still I struggle to remember anything (after just seeing it an hour ago). Same and same again. Keep wondering if a side program with actor-hero bio might help (me) understand what isn't actually filmed, but I don’t smartphone. I'm probably suppose to know who the guy with the mallet is? OOOhhh-SNAP! instead of yeah, sure.

Retire the casting director, terrible choice in Larsen. I read she’s a Disney® kid so welcome to the new-old incestuous world of contract hires. Capt M. on-screen can’t walk, let alone run. From behind I thought I was back sparking the starting gun for Special Olympics®. She is pigeon toed and knock knee, a spastic twice over. She can barely keep her own weight from causing her to fall, let alone take a punch. No reality there. No comic book reality there.

Watching Brie as non-actor, non-comedian, I was rooting for Jude Law to have a larger role; you could almost see him in the shadows counting the money stuffed in his wallet. Plus her face…all her features are centered and tightly packed. Her hair style circles her face and makes her look like she has a ring of fat a foot wide centered on her nose, a kid’s decoration of a sugar cookie. Doesn’t Disnet have a clone in plastic with a gaunt face and some character features. I guess it made sense to have Alicia Silverstone appear in a 90’s themed movie.

The 90’s throwback — ha-ha, doofus days to be recalled fondly — perfect if you read your first comics in that period. All the principals and writers undoubtedly were. Just nothing on the screen for me (again and again). They got my money. I even had the validation machine fail, so I lost another $8 on parking. Never write a review when you’re annoyed.

Capt Marvel is what it is. Good luck producers, as that actress puts on fifty pounds in three years, squeezing her back into Brunhilde’s garb. Then at least the fat lady will finally sing.



Message Replies:
All I remember is the 'Death of Captain Marvel' ..... -- Iron Surfer (posted: 3/8/2019) 
Reading the Wiki -- red (posted: 3/9/2019) 
Capt Marvel Shazam -- red (posted: 3/9/2019) 
Well, and the name .... -- Iron Surfer (posted: 3/9/2019) 
Tech Support Note Date Post European Sort -- red (posted: 3/10/2019) 
YoungRippa59, hero for the heroes -- red (posted: 3/11/2019) 
I scoff. I scoff a lot. -- Ranting Mike (posted: 3/11/2019) 
Was Trek SJW? --- I didn't notice ... but then that was the point .... -- Iron Red Shirt (posted: 11/3/2019) 
SJW? Had to look that up. -- red (posted: 3/11/2019) 
I LOL'd at DeadPool 2 .... can we say LOL on the Internet still? -- Iron Internet (posted: 3/11/2019) 
Pitch Meeting Guy -- more -- red (posted: 3/11/2019) 
Pitch Meeting Episode One -- red (posted: 3/11/2019) 
And in the next movie, they're going to bang .... -- Iron Vader (posted: 3/12/2019) 
Deadpool deserves it's own thread -- Squires (posted: 3/16/2019) 
Trek wasn't SJW -- Iron GM (posted: 3/14/2019) 
Trek was just trying to sell IDIC Medallions -- Iron Red Shirt (posted: 3/15/2019) 
SJW is all in how "in your face" the message is -- Squires (posted: 3/16/2019) 
in which I scoff back -- Iron GM (posted: 3/14/2019) 
More Schadenfreude -- red (posted: 3/15/2019) 
Butts in seats and mystery ticket sales - also reaction vids -- Iron GM (posted: 3/15/2019) 
I like Guardians of the Galaxy's 80s nostalgia better -- Squires (posted: 3/16/2019) 
Ronda Rousey has physique, as did Gal Gadot -- red (posted: 3/17/2019) 
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