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I scoff. I scoff a lot.


Ok, so I bit on the bait. I looked up the guy. Prepare for the vim, or, dare I say, piss-and-vinegar of the middle aged.

I'm certain his video on everything wrong with Captain Marvel released before the movie was released and before he could have seen it was absolutely on-point for a bunch of guesses culled entirely from the trailers (And there's an entire secondary rant that goes here about not judging anything based on the trailers. I can type it up, really!)

I'm sure his video on if Captain Marvel #1 is feminist garbage will... y'know what I actually watched that one... I'm glad that "Mar-Vell" will always be the true Captain Marvel to the 27-year old commentator. I bring up Eric July's age here (yup, I looked him up, for my Google-Fu is strong) because, well, Mar-Vell "died" in 1982. Why, Captain Marvell, when Eric July was growing up was - ready for this? A woman. An African-American woman no-less! Monica Rambeau. Why do I bring this up? Because I'd like to tell everyone who thinks that having Carol Danvers as a female Captain Marvel is some sort of "liberal pandering" to shut up and look up the female AND BLACK Captain Marvel from the 1980's.

****DIGRESSION**** In fact, we'll just stop here and detour into all the different Captains Marvel in Marvel Comics (don't worry, Conrad, I'll get to Captain Marvel/Shazam, later).

Mar-vell: A male half-Kree, half Human. He was published from 1967 to 1977, then does with a toxin. He returned in 1982 only to die in the "Death of Captain Marvel" graphic novel.

Monica Rambeau: an african-american female. She was published from 1982-1992. Monica, during her tenure as Capt. Marvel also served as leader of the Avengers. She was retired as Capt. M. in 1992, but her character is still in the Marvel Universe to this day. As Photon, then Pulsar, now Specturm.

Genis-Vell: 1/4 human 3/4 Kree, the genetically engineered "son" of Mar-Vell and his wife. Genis-Vell was mentally bonded with Rick Jones. I bring this up because Eric July said that his other "real" Capt. Marvel was *ahem* Rick Jones. Sorry, Eric, but Rick was never Capt. Marvel. He was a focus conduit that allowed Capt. marvel to manifest. While Genis-Vell flew around and had adventures Rick's mind was stored in Genis-Vell's gauntlets. Rick Jones never controlled the powers of Capt. Marvel.Genis-Vell was Capt. Marvel from 1993-1998.

Phyla-Vell: Genis Vell's sister. Sister means female. 2002-2007

Noh-Varr: A male Kree. Was only Capt. Marvel from 2009-2010. 11 months, not even a full year.

Carol Danvers: 2012-now.

So, let's see...
There are SIX characters that have carried the name "Captain Marvel" in the Marvel Universe. Three were males, three were females. Mar-vell, Genis-Vell and Noh-Varr were published for 16 years. Monica, Phyla and Carol were published for 22 years.

Tell me again how Brie Larson's Captain Marvel is some feminest backlash when three of the six Captains Marvel were females, and a female has been Captain Marvel longer than a male? I'll wait...****Digression ends****

So, right, Eric July's "True" Captain Marvel is the one that's been dead longer than Eric's been alive. His next "True" Captain Marvel never was Captain Marvel. Yeah, this guy has his credibility.

Let's continue on with with Youtube list!

"Kevin Feige says Capt. Marvel is a popular character." To which Eric July says "stop fuggin lyiiiiin!" Again, Google is your friend. Well, let's see. Captain Marvel didn't crack the top 100 books of 2018, yes, she seems unpopular. Wait, Comichron tracked sales figures for 700 books in 2018, and Capt. Marvel was 105. 700/4=175. Hey, Captain Marvel is in the top 25% of comic books sales! She's maybe not A-list, but she's not in the sewers. Capt. Marvel's book outsold Hellboy (who has a new movie) and, oh, Deadpool! Capt. Marvel outsold Deadpool! But he's Ryan Reynolds! Gee, I guess Capt. Marvel is pretty popular!

Ok, going down the list. "Why it's stupid to let Captain Marvel defeat Thanos." Um. Avenger: Endgame isn't out yet. We don't know that Capt. Marvel will defeat Thanos. Hey, Eric, you need to wait for the movie to actually be out before you can pull it apart. This goes for some of your other videos I've been citing as well.

"What to expect from my Captain Marvel review?" I expect you to hate it, dude. Everything you've discussed so far lets me know you're going to hate it. You decided you were going to hate it months ago. You decided you were going to hate it because your second "true" Captain Marvel never was Captain Marvel.

Oh, here's his reviews? Red, I have to ask if you watched one of his reviews, or one on his "I'm pulling stuff from my butt because I haven't seen the movie yet" videos. Did you watch "Captain Marvel: This is Criminal?" or did you watch "Everything Wrong With Captain Marvel?"

Red, I haven't seen the movie yet - I'll see it in two weeks. Maybe after I watch the movie I'll watch this guy's breakdown, but, for now I'm going to judge his reviews by the apparent same standard he used to judge the movie - I'm going to make snap judgements based on incomplete information, and not having watched the thing I'm about to critique. He's wrong. I'm certain his video is whining about "SJW" stuff (oh, we're gonna com back to "SJW" later), and I'm sure this movie show that Marvel and Brie Larson hate all men and they've made a huge mistake, and when the Marvel Movies suddenly lose a trillion dollars in a year, Disney will repent and all will be ruined forever. Nah, Capt. Marvel will make it's money, the franchise won't be effected at all and Marvel/Disney will continue cranking out formulaic empty filler that will make all the money. Nothin's gonna change here, guys. Captain Marvel opened and it was new that the immediate audience ratings were in the 30% range. Oh, right, that seems to have been all the people who decided they hated the movie without seeing it review bombing. Now that's it's Monday morning and people who actually saw the movie have weighed in, it's audience review scores across the aggregator sites is back up to around 80%. Record-breaking opening weekend.

Captain Marvel and Disney will do fine, thank you very much.

So, what do I expect from the movie? Not much, honestly. It'll be a boring, formulaic origin story, and I could probably tell you more than 90% of what happens in the film based off my knowledge of the character, my knowledge of the other films in the universe and my knowledge of basic story structure. Marvel won't do anything innovative in this film. It'll be a run of the mill origin story. I expect to love the alien cat, because I like cats. It's a bit of filler before Endgame closes Marvel's last 20-movie experiment with arc storytelling and I retire to only caring about Spider-Man movies.

Safe, boring and formula is what the movie-going public wants and expects, and it's what makes money. All the top money-making films are boring franchise-formula films, guys. And, as Jon de Lancie said to me once, "It's show BUSINESS." Studios exist to make money. Marvel movies make money. Welcome to Marwen, Isle of Dogs, Game Night - these are only three of the movies Laura and I saw in the last year that didn't make their money. All three were outside the boring old formula.

Finally, let's discuss "SJW" for a moment. I'm pretty sure we're all fans of original Star Trek - you know that show where that pandering liberal Gene Rodenberry made it a point to have an Asian guy, a Black woman, a Scotsman, and Alien and a Russian all on the same ship to force upon the unsuspecting public his evil dream of an egalitarian world where people of all races and religions could work together in peace and harmony. Man, than damn SJW Roddenberry! How dare he! Fortunately for good old Western Civilization after "The Cage" was made, Roddenberry figured as he fought with the executives at the network he could only keep Spock or Number One! Boy, he made the right choice! Kirk having a FEMALE second in command! Boy, that would never happen! I mean, bad enough he had the Asian guy. At least the Asian guy wasn't allow to play Sulu as gay! That would have been bad! Oh, wait, isn't classic Trek that show that takes the credit for having the first interracial kiss on TV (it didn't, btw, not even close)? Wait, the network tried to kill that scene because the Bible Belt states would revolt! Man, it's too bad that SJW, Bill Shatner blew all the takes where they DIDN'T kiss so the editors were forced to use the immoral take! DAMN YOU, BILL SHATNER, YOU SJW! He's Bill SHITner, amiright?

Boy, it's a good thing that same Trek franchise never made it a point to do a show with a female Captain and a Native American XO with a black Vulcan! (Black Vulcan? Sounds like a superhero!) Certainly they'd not have another asian guy, and they'd never make it a point to have a half-Klingon/half-mexican (hey, I didn't write this promo text), because that show would have sucked and never-ever played out it's entire seven-years of contract!

See where I'm going with this? Let's not pretend that some "liberal/SJW" bias is somehow ruining Sci-Fi and comic books, because those genres have pretty much always been progressive.

Except for the original Star Wars trilogy, which only had one woman in the entire galaxy and the only black guy was a criminal.


   Ranting Mike

Message Replies:
Was Trek SJW? --- I didn't notice ... but then that was the point .... -- Iron Red Shirt (posted: 11/3/2019) 
SJW? Had to look that up. -- red (posted: 3/11/2019) 
I LOL'd at DeadPool 2 .... can we say LOL on the Internet still? -- Iron Internet (posted: 3/11/2019) 
Pitch Meeting Guy -- more -- red (posted: 3/11/2019) 
Pitch Meeting Episode One -- red (posted: 3/11/2019) 
And in the next movie, they're going to bang .... -- Iron Vader (posted: 3/12/2019) 
Deadpool deserves it's own thread -- Squires (posted: 3/16/2019) 
Trek wasn't SJW -- Iron GM (posted: 3/14/2019) 
Trek was just trying to sell IDIC Medallions -- Iron Red Shirt (posted: 3/15/2019) 
SJW is all in how "in your face" the message is -- Squires (posted: 3/16/2019) 
in which I scoff back -- Iron GM (posted: 3/14/2019) 
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