Message:We assaulted Kappa Bumbleshoot, the former movie backlot. We had to first capture the enemy Command Bridge of the Station. New Q&D Capture Flagship.
Once done, we were greeted by the Fem Fatale, Carnegiea Gigantea. Her image was perfection to each player character. e.g., To Cimmer she looks like a saguaro cactus, huge tracts of land. Her only flaw seems to be a gothic cross, carved metal graffiti, on the back of her left hand. The sexy beast led to a dreamlike place, the data storage vault. Our fantasy evaporates into a nerdling.
Meta-Guy asked us if we wanted to see ourselves without feet? We determined that the movie backlot was looking for investors to start again. When we had no cash to offer, the event changed.
You’d think by now we’d know we faced an enemy of Freebooter Androids, but we could not make that final realization roll. Missed it three times (of seven).
We found ourselves in a Noir, helping Gunter Galileo find his missing dame. She betrayed him. He negotiated with us with famous catchphrases: Q&D Noir Dialog. DeArtiste went insane in the experience (missed must-be ten rolls).
With Gunter placated and trusting us, J.W.Walker appeared. The chiseler stole the golden falcon. Off to the races. We jumped in ships and gave pursuit. Most of the ships were hunking duds.
Ingeneer lost four ships all on his own. PM Cycle rolls will be a bitch.
Achilles Heal (8-5-6), Marble finish, Corinthian leather, leaking fuel, better not to smoke.
Ajax Cleaner (4-6-6), needs air freshener, actually may once have been a service ship for decontamination procedures. Don’t breath too deep of the contagions.
Black Prince Skia (3-3-3), wired for self-destruct. If you ever arrive at point-blank range, you and the enemy go boom.
Conqueror Kay (4-7-7), Skeleton of previous pilot still swings from the ceiling, a dear john letter in his mitt. Take point Insanity.
Don Wanderer (7-6-4), virtually connected to a Chic cartel orgy. Best not to select a flight suit with questionable attachments.
Flying Dutchguy (8-3-3), Seems to be haunted, could just be animatronic ride. If you’re still in the thing at battle end, suffer a D8 rise in Insanity.
Das Hate Boat (5-6-5), the tin-heads aboard internally feud, but the rivalry is somewhat beneficial. Still, each round you suffer a PM Cycle Tally increase. Care to abandon ship?
Kaiser Soze (4-4-4), every time you fire, there’s a 50-50 chance you aim to hit an ally.
Kirk Be My Copilot (6-6-6), taking her out, you wish you had the pointed ear alien instead. If you ever miss twice in a row or fail to dodge twice in a row, you must return ship to base feeling unworthy.
Lusitania Hoax (4-2-4), being inside makes you distrust everyone. You may not stay more than one turn in LOS with any player. After that ditch into the unknown or fire back on them.
Magenta Timewarp (5-5-8), rather astounding, somewhat fleet, mad color and controls, she seems fun to drive, command chair wobbles in a pelvic thrust.
Mayflower Vantime (6-7-7), besides having to punch the console occasionally when it goes dark, it’s passable as a mislabeled logistics tug.
Minotaur Skull (2-2-2), cool heavy metal interior black light colors. Psychobilly soundtrack and shaved drugs in lines on the dash. Groovy.
Nile Swill (8-8-8), previous owners partied like it was Bombay 1999 and used the thing as an outhouse.
Prince Albert on a Can (3-7-4), tinheads aboard are constantly making dated jokes and laughing at riddles, limericks and sarcastic retorts. Knock-knock & Shut Up? Else make one of your own to actually work (make rolls). Use internet maybe.
Princess Bruiseline (5-3-5), lido deck was converted to a rail gun by losing the pool for a cooling pond and casino as sabot ejection cage.
Royal Oak Polish (6-4-7), taken from Cimmer Vikings, the smell of pine and the sod deck trails cast a certain unease. Spend much of your time weeding grass sprouts. All stats are plus one for Cimmer.
Saint Mary of Misery (8-2-6), hard wired for nothing but sermons and religious debates as podcasts. Alcohol is prohibited aboard.
Titanic IX (5-7-X), little to nothing learned from history so here we go again.
Utopian Falcon (7-5-5), was a better vessel in stats before the name change, when public domain status was lost and trademark was reasserted.
Yet eventually we found the Fem Fatale and were betrayed. How else could this end? Liberty Valance dove his craft into the Black Hole, rescued Gunther and brought us out of VR.
After one final battle we captured the Matrix, Command and Engineering. Success and elevated to Squad Rank 82.
Solution appears obvious now. Care to guess? Populace escaped into upload and VR. Turn them off or take the data and release into your ship Core Matrix? We hit off switch.
Aftermath: Discover the movie archive. Do you free Gunter from perpetual reruns? Could be a bunch of cash (later) from royalties and Likes if the material was released on TikTaco. Let Chic cartel or Journeymen, Mister J. Wonderful Walker, handle the discovery?
Start a new mission, need to count Inventive Trait ship improvements and run Unfinished Business to load the Dauntless Perisher up with clutter to curtail. Next week back to Autoplay.
Yours,
IronRed
12-Mar-2023