Part of what the characters must do to gain a Trade Deal and sell cargo (or buy big guns)
1-1 Master 6D chess, while facing a panorama of colored lights assaulting your focus, to rid Sirius Alpha of her diabolical Melmacian puppet masters. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Brainiac.
1-2 Duel the Anthracite Monster in the Koo She Koo arena, fighting with only an Utrom fungo bat. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Legionnaire.
1-3 Seek a compromise among warring factions on Gamma Crateris, divided by racial strife. The guys with citron-colored eyes persecute the ones with mustard-lime. Did the writers have to beat us over the head with this with close-ups, even as the actors shared the same pair of contact lens to reduce production costs? Back to our game. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Moon Maid.
1-4 Seduce Queen Samorost and convince her to abdicate her traditional claim to the throne of Corvus Seventeen. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Scalawag.
1-5 Divine the location of the Denebian Diamond, stolen long ago and hidden in the asteroid fields of the Gemini Cluster. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Telepath.
1-6 Complete the assembly of the improved Breen Time Clock to restore commercial success to long dormant unions of AV+ Sagittarius. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being an Engineer.
2-1 Prove to the freighters of Caleban that indeed it is possible to maneuver the maze of conjunctions in the Ome Tau Traverse in under six parsecs. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Galactic-Pilot.
2-2 Unmask the cursed beauty of the Aalaag Crone to restore traditional rule to Theta Indi B. Schleck her too (for ratings). Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Mephisto.
2-3 Chart the safest route and landing points on Bootes Parallax following the Pavo Planetary Collision. Guest staring one of your old flames who doubts your ability to commit. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Navigator.
2-4 End the famine on Iota Centauri by adapting the locals to a new diet exercising mastication of locally sourced Eosapien blubber. Sponsored by Dennis of the BDA. Roll 4+ for success. Add one to your dice for being a Dentist.
2-5 Lincoln-Douglas debate the Kal-Go Blackheart of the Felysian Senate to expose the falsehoods being pandered as truth among the people’s parliament on the Puppis Puppis system. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Brainiac, Legionnaire or Moon Maid. Afterward the truth was very dour, and you took away most of the elderly inhabitants’ hope. Oh well.
2-6 Convince (by the language of threats or direct show of force) the pygmy gangs of Pisces Farstar to give-up their exotic weapons and make peace with their fellow Taxxion citizens; they are both the same species and height is irrelevant and can be corrected by gene splicing. Do not give them six-foot dongs, even when they ask. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Brainiac, Legionnaire or Scalawag.
3-1 Rescue the lost Kalish child that wandered into the restricted death mines of Fomalhaut Dive. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Brainiac, Legionnaire or Telepath.
3-2 Help the Koozbanian scientific community of Ursae Majoris solve the mystery of whether every dog has the potential of being a good dog. (It was the Xmas episode.) Somehow involves winning the caroling contest against the reputable Prima Dona; the roll success means she lets you win. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Brainiac, Moon Maid or Scalawag.
3-3 Resist the seduction of the Taelon priestess, who’s kiss is that of the black widow spider. Red hourglass on her forehead is heavy-handed with the makeup. Otherwise, should you indulge in hanky-panky, the auto surgeon on the ship will remove all the embryos before they bore up to your brain. You must resist to gain any trade deal. She will only make terms with an equal that shuns her affections. Julie Newmar cutie, got to say. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Brainiac, Moon Maid or Telepath.
3-4 Break into the Jawa'd fortress, through the pipes of toxic nEther, to recover the stolen plans to the Alpha Pictoris’ death ray. No, you may not keep that for yourself; it won’t function anyway you deduce. Still, you need to do this to prevent panic in the Tholian masses. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Brainiac, Scalawag or Telepath.
3-5 As negotiations fall apart with intramural turmoil, hold the Glapumtian’s catwalk over the gorge of Pak-Pak, during the palace coup of Leonis Minoris. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Legionnaire, Moon Maid or Scalawag.
3-6 Aghast, when you see your face inscribed in the Gazillion year old Iconian Tomb revealing the next truth-announcer of the Draco 94.1 confederation. Use your powers well (the dice roll) or be crucified like the last three (recently) to obtain such rank. Kidding, you only flee in abject terror to be hunted for the rest of your days. Similar to the events of last Tuesday. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Legionnaire, Moon Maid or Telepath.
4-1 Win the free-for-all clash in the battle pits of Vega Lyra, against the assorted champions of the Vykeen. Victor gets the honor to sacrifice the Zoni slave girl to the unnamed gods; keep that from occurring as well. This culture is a mess. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Legionnaire, Scalawag or Telepath.
4-2 Seems painfully obvious, as the guy with the long mustache intends to assassinate the local hereditary overlord, because he happens to be next in line to the throne of Cassiopeia Gian. Could let that happen…saving the Sanshyuum king might secure the trade deal you’re after. Mustache man doesn’t seem the negotiating type. Roll 5+ for success. Add one to your dice for any of these: Moon Maid, Scalawag or Telepath.
4-3 Dispel the legends of the ghost ships of Biham A, only to reveal the Na'vi a'vi doo marauders have been ravaging mercantile ships of the Orhan Federation. Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Engineer, Galactic-Pilot or Mephisto.
4-4 Board a hospital ship en route to the disaster on Lambda Vpsh. Time is of the essence, yet no one seems to accept you can overdrive the engines while plotting a course through the Iota Bootis Nebula, despite the fact no one has survived that transit. Only a younger you might do so – guest stars a gal playing the daughter you never knew you had. (She conveniently is never mentioned again in any script.) Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Engineer, Galactic-Pilot or Navigator.
4-5 Fix the Hallessi generator, powering the skyhook rail on Gamma Ophiuchi, before leading your fellow star gliders into the assault on the Gonknoid Horde. Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Dentist, Engineer or Galactic-Pilot.
4-6 The Hroda have fought an eight-thousand-year war against the Majat. Since neither race has obtained space flight, nor truly ever recall meeting face-to-face, they have accepted the word of travelers that their counterparts in the Nu Indi Indus system are loathsome. In mutual agreement, the sides use an electronic abacus to calculate losses…my attorney says this narrative is too close to someone else’s IP. Switching gears. The two races got the idea to fight by watching old timey TV from light years away. Here’s your task: get the two people to realize they are in fact born of the same race and only split an eon before. Easy enough, right? Cameras do not record them in focus, oddly. Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Engineer, Mephisto or Navigator.
5-1 Solve the protein problem created by the shift to hydroponic GMO crops on Tau Eridani, an oceanic world with abundant fish. Try not to antagonize all the vegetarian tourist who summer there, but would it kill them to eat meat occasionally? Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Dentist, Engineer or Mephisto.
5-2 Prove that the Yag-Kosha of HD 27045 are in fact not descendants of the demon lord Beelzebub since that supernatural creature is an obvious fairytale. Logic beats superstition, even as a series of local magistrates’ heads explode whenever they ask the defendants if they’d like to reconsider their request to waive the right to a court appointed mortal attorney. Boom, there goes another taciturn legal scholar. Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Dentist, Engineer or Navigator.
5-3 Cheat like the rest of the contestants to win the Kappa Phoenicis trilateral space race without using vessel armaments that should definitely result in a time-out and forfeiture of the symbolic iron schnoz prize as well as the trade agreement you seek. This while everyone else in the competition seems to be heavily armed and unconcerned about deploying mines, using lightspeed and running in bump-grind as if this was a demolition death race space derby. The referees are obviously Dark Zosma Russian actors. Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Galactic-Pilot, Mephisto or Navigator.
5-4 Figure out a means of stopping the spread of the Orkan plague caused by the infectious Pisces Austrinus Monster, which seems impervious to all forms of direct death-dealing attack. Be nice if some funkin’ Einstein figured out how to make these things hides into spaceship ablative. Instead, you’re stuck trying to be a funkin’ Einstein and cross mixing various common objects to make a working repellant. Worst adventure game ever. Okay, have we tried the banana with the axel grease? You have to double click. Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Dentist, Galactic-Pilot or Mephisto.
5-5 Rescue the mafioso godfather’s pet pooch from the clutches of the evil Epsilon Serpentis’ Rogue Simulantus. A ransom has already been paid a thousand times over and still the bad guys refuse to return the man’s property, until he admits he’s not the dog’s master but a housemate. Get cracking and steal back the mutt. A third-party protagonist wishes to make the dog’s tail into a scarf, yet success die roll doesn’t change. Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Dentist, Galactic-Pilot or Navigator.
5-6 Everyone will tell you, fug those Verga. It’s almost a galactic cliché. Not for you, though. You have to go to Perseus Taurus Subgiant and deal with those ignominious basterds. Make sense of what they are and what they may be. By the way, they have the annoying habit of taking any outsider’s bedtime reading and converting it into the system of governance on the planet, almost overnight. Fug those Verga. Roll 6+ for success. Add one to your dice for each of these: Dentist, Mephisto or Navigator.
6-1 Befriend the Solomons of Nu-Draconis HR and teach them how to assimilate among the planet’s indigenous primitives. No, they should not supplant the locals; they are there to study and guide. The last attempt failed as the result left part of the planet debating the dollar exchange rate of quatloos. Roll 4+ for success. Subtract one from your dice for being a Brainiac.
6-2 Dance in the royal ball to celebrate the sesquicentennial reign of Good King Wenceslas. And attend the funeral of Wenceslas as he dies by court ordered euthanasia, despite being in supreme health. It’s just the Tralfamadorian way. Don’t get involved; do nothing and win, kinda like Abrams’ Trek. Roll 4+ for success. Subtract one from your dice for being a Legionnaire.
6-3 Charm the fem fatal of Beta Circini, who drives admirers wild with a mere glance. Her Vogon race has sixty shades of sexuality but shuns utterly the taboo of lesbo. Televised uncensored on Skinemax®. Roll 4+ for success. Subtract one from your dice for being a Moon Maid.
6-4 Defend in court the right of the inanimate race of Quarrians, discovered in the mining system of Geronimo Hercules. Though counterintuitive, you are hired by the captain of the mining operation; his daughter, Alysssssssa—they’re reptilian—has told her Daddy unequivocally the rocklings must not be harmed. That will force his cartel to trade elsewhere, presenting your opportunity. Roll 4+ for success. Subtract one from your dice for being a Scalawag.
6-5 Uncover the identity of the serial murderer on Altair Seven before he kills another Lobokhan republican. Hint, he mentally forces others who are psychically endowed to do his democratizing dirty work. Roll 4+ for success. Subtract one from your dice for being a Telepath.
6-6 A doppelganger is able to take the shape of anything it touches. This power is being used for evil, duh. No one should impersonate another. Find the criminal and carve it into small pieces that can be fed to a ginger housecat. Strange days, indeed. Roll 5+ for success. Subtract one from your dice if you've ever cosplayed as an adult.