Era Ten Campaign Issues

Message:

In the latest MSCSI-Ferret Poll, we have Widows and Orphans leading Defund Martial Bands by one percent, a near tie with More Xmas.

Those policy leaders are Issue 2, Issue 4, Issue 7

Issue King: Vote No Change, all's well in the Quo, Status Qon or Suzy-Q, supported by the Old Guard of Bogus Blue and many of the executives of privilege. Candidate is a Cruz who when asked is unsure why he is on the ballot and what his duties will be should he win.

Issue Queen: Save Tit-Kro Mouse, supported by the young at heart after a very effective Matrix Campaign w/ a pop-star written jingle.

Issue Jack: Healthy Ice Cream, supported by school boards about the galaxy.

Issue 10: Lower Skirt Lengths, though many misunderstand the issue as being the opposite as intended. Appears to be the latest pet peeve of a fervent modesty campaign of the virulently prudent.

Issue 9: Tax Weirdos, as a means of balancing the budget. The definition is left vague, so the voter can imagine someone else, never himself, as the one who will pay should this issue prevail.

Issue 8: Right to Fireworks, an issue that no one truly opposes nor is there any system that outlaws the celebratory sparklers, even the methane rich Capricorn Flatulence. The advocates believe their right to blow-up stuff is under threat and the right needs to be enshrined in the League Bylaws.

Issue 7: More Xmas, raising the celebration from twice a year to five times. Most think this is a joke, comic publicity satire.

Issue 6: Free Giant Gas, outwardly funded by the Stygians, who disavow any desire to have the issue win. Does that mean it might be of benefit under their backward logic?

Issue 5: End Walker Cloning, supported by the Journeyman as a marketing campaign for a new hipster cola. Candidate Big Brain Walker, Colonel J.W.Walker and Jimmy “Wishmaker” Walker. The three candidates plan to have a primary slated for six hours prior to close of poll on the issue election day. Unless they can be reconciled before then.

Issue 4: Defund Martial Bands, funded by an anonymous consortium for silent polka and square dancing without a caller, in other words, no Razzle-Jazzle.

Issue 3: More Condiments for Taco Tuesday, selected as an issue that no one can complain about, likely to divert attention from some other bait and switch agenda behind another (or all) issues.

Issue 2: Orphans & Windows, the current favorite in the polls. Who can say "No" to either when it comes to funding. Candidate Grandma Cherub.

Issue 1: Enforce Pretty Star Skies, soon to be a Broadway sequel to the musical Hair.

Of course, the player troopers may form their own opinion. just understand, if voting was an effective way to transfer power, the executive cabals would not allow us to do so.



Yours,